It WaS a DaRk, StOrMy, AnD pOwErLeSs NiGhT
by DopeyTheChosen1
Summary: Well, basically, you take the final fantasy characters from 7 to 10, put them in a house with no electricity and get them really bored. rated for langlang coughcidcough. PLEASE R&R!
1. The idea

I own nothing…

-DORK-

I can't believe I actually found the floppy disk that this was on, it must have been under my bed, for like, ever! (Did you know that it is a proven fact of gravity that if you leave something on the bedroom floor for long enough, it will eventually get dragged under the bed? It's true!)

-DORK-

"I have an idea," Selphie said. Everyone looked up from where they were sitting, being bored. The power had gone out a while ago and everyone was either too scared or lazy or not caring to go outside to try to fix it. Irvine was still whining because he had been on the last level of his game when the power went out and he hadn't saved at any time. It was as though he were at a funeral, except that no one else really cared. Other than Squall, who had to sit by him. "We can play this game I heard of a while ago. You sit in a circle and one person starts a story, the next person adds something, and then the next person adds something, until it ends up at the person who began, then that person ends it. Wanna' play?"

"It depends; will we be playing in English or Selphanese?' Squall rolled his eyes.

"Shut up Mr. Boring, sure, I'll play." Yuffie said. "Any one else?"

The room was silent, and then Quistis and Rinoa raised their hands. "Oh," Rinoa said, "You guys are such losers, yeah, we'll all play Selphie."

"No." Vincent glared at her. "I'm not."

"Wanna' bet?" Raine glared back at him.

"…"

"See? Satan'll play." Raine smiled. "And so will everyone else, or do I have to get out Charlie Skullbasher?" Charlie was her name for her favorite weapon, her big ass frying pan. Squall said it was a skillet, but Raine kept saying that it was a frying pan and that she would hit him with it if he didn't shut up. He shut up.

Selphie, Zidane, Dagger, Irvine, Yuffie, Vincent, Quistis, Rinoa, Squall, Raine, Seifer, Cid, and Zell all got into a circle.

"I'll start!" Selphie said. "Let's see. There was this girl, she was probably about ten. She was walking through the woods, when she wasn't suppose too. Her mom had warned her about all of the things that live there, and that most of them would eat her if they met her… Zidane? Your turn!"

"Okay," Zidane thought a moment. "Well, she's walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking, when she trips and falls down … Dagger?"

"You suck, you know that?" Dagger said, punching him on the shoulder. "Right, well she tries to get up, but some one or some thing is holding her down, she whips out her knife and begins stabbing, she hears a moan and then finds that she can get up. She dusts her self off, and looks up to see… Irvine?"

"I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo close…" Irvine looked up to see every one staring at him. "What? Oh, yeah. She sees… this big… pink… uh… ah! I know! She looks up to see a big energizer bunny! It's crying though, she asks, 'What's wrong, Mr. Bunnykins?' The bunny looks up and says, 'I'm soooooo sad. I lost my big drum thingy. Can you help me find it?'"

"That's it?" Yuffie asks. "Thanks for leaving me so many choices. Any way, the girl says sure, and the two begin looking around to see if they can find the drum. The girl finds the drumsticks and the bunny's sunglasses. But that's it. So they look some more and are interrupted when they hear this crunching noise, they look behind them to see another bunny, but this one is green. It says, 'Is this your drum? I'm sorry, I accidentally sat on it. Can I buy you a new one?' The girl says that she would, she was rich you know, and so they decide to see what they can see, and they set off to get to the other side of the forest… Your turn Vinny."

"…my name is Vincent."

"Whatever, your turn."

"The pink one goes ballistic and eats them both. A wolf then eats the pink thing. The End. Happy?"

"NO!" The circle looked up to see Eiko standing in the door way. "That ain't how you end a story. Redo it!"

"…why? That seems like a happy ending to me."

"But you need something more…" Eiko sat down between Vincent and Quistis. "Okay, after eating the pink… what is it?"

"Energizer bunny." Raine said.

"Bunny, the wolf walks off into a near by village, there it walks up to a man and asks, 'where is the best sheep around here?' The man asks, 'Why?' The wolf says. 'Just wondering.' The man says…"

"Good job," Quistis smiled, "That's much better." Vincent rolled his eyes. "The man says, 'why, the best sheep? In my home, of course.' The wolf thanks him and sets off to find a place to sleep for the night.'"

"The wolf falls asleep." Squall says without looking up, he was too busy keeping Irvine from committing suicide.

"You men are soooo boring." Raine rolled her eyes. "Okay, so the wolf finds a nice place to sleep for the night, or so it seems. The man goes to bed and the wolf sneaks into the house, and begins to annoy the sheep. The farmer wakes up hearing it, and goes back to sleep. So, finally the man's wife wakes up, grabs her frying pan-"

"Skillet."

"-Shut up Squall." Raine glared at her son. "Whatever it is! The point is that she beats the crap out of the wolf, blood every where! Guts! Gooey gooey guts! Mahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Every one looked at Raine in horror, she was now standing on Squall, hitting him with each word. Example: "Ha!" bam! "Ha!" bam! Ect.

"Okay…the woman feels guilty about it." Seifer said, grinning. "So she commits suicide."

"What? You call that a story?" Cid said. "Well, the man is happy that the wife is finally gone, so he can inherit her big savings, he's fucking rich now. So he moves out of the little run down shack and lived in a new home. A fucking big mansion."

"And lived happily ever after, eating hotdogs every meal." Zell said, with a faraway look in his eyes… "What?"

"Okay, well, I guess that does it." Vincent said, getting up. "Good bye."

"Where are you going?" Zidane asked. "It's the middle of the night." Vincent ignored him.

"you know what that means, right?" Yuffie asked. "FLASHLIGHT TAG!"

"NO." Was all Vincent said, before slamming the door shut behind him. "BACK! BACK!" They could here him yelling, then he ran in and slammed the door shut again.

"What was it?" Zell asked. "The boogie man."

"NO." Vincent's eyes got wide. "Something worse."

"What's worse than the boogie man?"

Vincent looked at him. "GIRL SCOUTS."

-DORK-

Sorry, this chapter was really short. The next one should be longer! Please review! (and give me some ideas on what they should do.)


	2. Girl Scouts and flashlight tag

I don't own anything but the props and the plot. It's a free contry you know! ;P

-DORK-

Everyone gasped. "Girl Scouts?" Yuffie asked. "Are you sure?"

"Well, I don't know about you losers," Zidane said. "But a girl in need is a girl indeed. If you get my drift."

"Oh, I get your drift alright," Dagger said, grabbing him by the tail as he headed to the door. Then she proceeded to maul him with a piece of string. (Don't ask).

"Well, what should we do?" Quistis asked. "What can we do?"

"Well." Cid rubbed his chin. "We could go up to the balcony and drop water balloons full of acid down on them…" He noticed that every one was staring at him with one eyebrow raised, "What? We could, that would get rid of the bitches!"

"Why doesn't Valentine just eat them?" Rinoa asked.

"…I don't really feel like committing suicide right now."

"Yeah." Selphie said. "Girl Scouts are poisonous."

"How many times have you committed Suicide?" Zidane asked, picking the string out of his… er, uh…let's not go there.

Vincent just hit him with the handle of his gun. "Shut up, or we'll feed you to them."

"Fine with me. A girl in need is a girl—wait! I didn't mean it!" Zidane screamed as Raine tossed him out the window.

"Any one else?" Raine glared at them. "Alright, now, let's act like real people and fight for our country!" She raised up her frying pan/skillet. "Who's with me?"

No one moved.

Raine blushed. "Well that's good, because I didn't feel like going out there in the first place."

"WHAT?" Everyone looked at Raine. Raine Loire was afraid of Girl Scouts? Actually, that wasn't that bad…she could also talk to chickens (see: "Why did the chicken cross the road—ch. 1 or 2").

"Well, where are we going to get some acid?" Irvine asked, then Squall hit him in the stomach, making him puke. "Oog…oh…"

"Walla!" Squall said, chucking the stuff at Cid. "Acid."

"That's barf."

"Are you telling me there's a difference?"

"No, not really. Punch the kid some more." Cid said, rigging up a hose that led into Irvine's mouth and connected to the balloon nozzles. "Vincent. How many of them?"

"…Do you really think that I looked?" Vincent gave him a cold stare. "Just make a bunch of them."

There was a pounding on the door as Cloud and Zidane burst in. Zidane had bits of cookies in his hair. "Hi….guys…" The two collapsed on the ground. "Whatcha' doing?"

"Preparing to attack the Hellmaster's Scouts." Squall said, still punching Irvine.

"Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhhhtttttttt." Cloud watched Cid filling up the balloons with barf. "Do I really want to know?" Cid shook his head. "That's what I figured."

Eventually, they had about a hundred barf balloons and a shriveled up Irvine. At least he wasn't able to cry and whine anymore. Cid, Zell, Raine, Squall, Vincent, and Yuffie grabbed a bunch of water /barf balloons each, then headed up to the balcony.

The problem was: the power was out and they couldn't carry a flashlight. What the guys downstairs heard was something like this.

"Ow!Cid, get off me."

"I can't help it, Vincent move."

"Grrrr…"

"Wow, I think someone's grouchy…Hey! You don't have to-" Splash, splash, splat. "-VINCENT! EW!"

"Great going Satan, you just spilled about half of the balloons."

"Shut up Zell!" There was a bang. "Don't make me hit you again, Vincent! Stop growling like tha-" Splat! "-Holy shit! Squall! Pick this up!"

"What? Irvine's puke? Do I look like I want to—" There was another loud bang. "—yes ma'am!"

Then it grew quiet. The downstairs waited, then heard what they had been waiting for—Screaming. The girl scouts must have thought that they were being murdered. Eventually the noises died away.

When the bombers came back down, it sounded like:

"Hey, where's Vincent?"

"Who cares?"

"I do. What if they kidnapped him?"

"Like that would happen."

"Really."

"Shut up Yuffie."

"Squall! Don't tell a lady to shut up!"

"What? Yuffie a lady? She's a friggin' bitc- ow! you're a frickin bitch!"

"Grrrrr…."

"Don't do that Vincent."

"Grrrr…."

"Uh, Yuffie? I don't think that's Valentine."

"Hm…WHAT THE FXXK?"

There was a big crash as the whole gang came falling down, on top of them was a dog. A dog? Where had a dog come from? I don't know either, why would any one keep a dog in the attic balconey place? Who's house are we at anyway? Live is full of myserteries, isn't it?

"I'm taking it that you don't know where Vincent is." Cloud said. "And that you want to take a bath." They were covered in puke. Squall mostly.

"I bet that's where that loser ran off to." Zell pouted. "Why can't we leave?"

"I don't know."

"Then why don't we?"

"I.DON'T. KNOW."

"Okay, geeze."

"Well, do you guys want to play flashlight tag now?" Yuffie asked, with those big bambi eyes.

"Hmmm… Sure. We are ALL going to play." Raine said, glaring at them. The guys quickly nodded, they really didn't feel like getting their brains beat out tonight.

"Okay, there should be two people who are it." Yuffie and Selphie were already holding the flashlights, "GO!"

The gang ran outside, knocking each other down in the process. Yuffie and Selphie ran after them, blinding them with the flashlight. When Yuffie was chasing Cloud though, something knocked her down. "Oof!" She swung the flashlight around, to have the light glint off of some one's eyes. Some one's dead eyes. It was Zidane.

"FXXK!" Yuffie jumped up, the game stopped and every one looked at her. Except for Irvine, who was busy puking again. "They got Zidane!"

Then Zidane's body began to twitch…out of it came…came….a worm? The hell was a worm doin' in there? "Hi!" It said. "I'm your own 'get out of playing stupid games worm'. How can I help you?"

"Where's Zidane?" Dagger rolled her eyes.

"In the house." Dagger turned to go, when Yuffie shown the light on her.

"You're it."

"Cheater!"

So the game continued. Meanwhile, Zidane was sitting in the empty house, trying desperately to get the TV on. There was a show that he wanted to watch that was on only once a week…please! He thought, turn on!

Finally, he got it going thanks to Irvine's kit. He didn't know what it was or where it came from, all he knew was that it worked. So, he was sitting on the couch, watching a show (I can't tell you what it was, I'd get arrested.) when the lights flickered on, then back off.

Just like in the movie.

"H-Hello?" Zidane stuttered. "I-is any one there?" He nervously looked around. There was something behind him, he knew it. Something was just behind him, waiting to pounce. He grabbed the nearest thing, a pillow, and proceeded to kill what ever it…it…crap…he had just murdered Vincent. That was going to haunt him.

"Aw, shit." Zidane looked down at Vincent's unconscious body. Then t moved, the eyes looked up at him, fangs glistened.

Zidane tore out of there, knocking down several walls as he did. "IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!" He was screaming, finally he wound up cowering behind Dagger. "Alive… Alive…" he whimpered.

"What is?"

"The body."

"What body?"

"The body with the power."

"What power?"

"The power of living."

"What's living?"

"The body."

"What body?"

"The body with the power."

"What…wait…Zidane, why don't you show me?"

"Because I'll be haunted for the rest of my life…"

"Did you kill some one?"

"Yes…"

"Who?"

The Genome was silent for awhile, then said… "Why don't I just show you?"

Dagger glared. "That's just what I had suggested."

"Right." Zidane and Dagger cautiously made their way into the room, Zidane reached for the lights, they flickered on and off. Spooky. When they rounded the last corner though, just when they thought they were going to make it, this big green thing jumped out at them, yelling.

"ABOOGABOOGABOOGA!" This caused them to turn tail and run, knocking down each other and some more walls. Meanwhile, Zell took off his mask, laughing so hard it hurt, he turned to see Vincent glaring at him. "Oh, hey, you're back." He smiled weakly. "Uh…I woke you up or something, didn't I?"

Vincent just hit him, knocking him out. "Idiots."

-DORK-

"Wow." Yuffie said as the gang said down on the grass. "That was fun. We should do this more often."

"Yeah." Someone said, Yuffie couldn't tell who because of how dark it was. She thought it was Rinoa. "So, any one want to play truth or dare?"  
All of the girls chanted "YES!" immediately, the boys groaned, and there were several whacks, then they agreed. (Go Raine-samma!)

"Okay," Yuffie said once she had gotten the flashlight on so she could see her victim. "Hmm…Seifer, truth…or dare?"

-DORK-

Please review! I need some ideas for the dares and truths. Please send some of them in!


	3. Truth or Dare again

I do not own final fantasy and I apologize for taking my entire life to update this thing.

-0-

"Dare," Siefer said. "I always pick dare, so don't waste your time asking."

"Well," Yuffie thought on it a moment. "You kissing Squall is sort of getting old . . ."

"Like hell it is!" Squall spat. "We do that in every single one of Dopey's fics!"

Dopey: Sorry, but I only give the peoples what they want …

"So," Yuffie said. "I dare you to . . . SLEEP WITH SQUALL."

Everyone : (0.o)

"Did . . ." Squall had to process the information. "Did you say SLEEP WITH?"

"Yup. In the same bed . . ."

"Well, Leon," Seifer was trying to be on the bright side. "She didn't acutally dare me to TOUCH you or anything. Just one night of ignoring eachother, not that bad, is it?"

"…Buck naked." Yuffie smiled wickedly, finishing her dare.

"Yeah," Squall said, brightening up. "It's not that ba---WTF DID YOU JUST SAY NAKED!?"

"Yup," Yuffie grinned. "Anyway, Seirfer, it's your turn."

"I'm not playing anymore, so this doesn't count!" Seifer said, trying to weasel his way out of the dare.

"Yeah! And anyways, everyone gets one pass!" Squall chimed in.

"Well, okay. Seifer, you don't have to sleep with Squall." Yuffie said, "But Squall has to sleep with Seifer."

Everyone: EVEN BIGGER 0.o

"Damn it Squall! I told you it was too much teriyaki!" Seifrer moaned.

"Whatever, it's my turn." Squall said, eyeing yuffie evily. (not like that, he's already got seifer to 'deal with'.)

"Make that bitch pay!" Seifer incouraged him.

"Yuffie, truth or dare?" Squall asked.

"Uh . . . truth." Yuffie said, staying on the safe side of the road.

"DAMN IT SQUALL!!" Seifer roared. "THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TERIKYAKI!"

"Well," Squall tried to think of something to say. "What . . . color is your underwear?"

"Underwear?" Yuffie asked. "What underwear?"

Everyone: 0.o

"You don't wear underwear?" Irvine grinned. "Prove it."

"Yeah," Zidane agreed. "Prove it!"

"You guys are such perverts!" Yuffie cried, slapping them both. "I do to wear underwear, see?" She dropped her pants. "It's blue!"

Everyone except Irvine/Zidane: 0.0

Irvine/Zidane:)

Yuffie pulled up her pants again and then turned to Irvine and Zidane. "Both of you at once, Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Irivne said

"Dare." Zidane said.

"So, I guess it's both." Yuffie said.

"First off, have either of you ever cheated on your girlfriends?" Yuffie asked.

Both boys looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with Selphie and Dagger.

"Ooh." Yuffie grinned. "With who?"

The two boys pointed to EACH OTHER'S GIRFRIENDS.

"What?" Yuffie said. 0.o "What the F""K!!?" She collected herself and said. "Whatever, that's not my problem. Instead let's move on to your dare. I dare you to . . . Sleep with each other."

"What?" Irvine exploded. "WHAT IS WITH YOU AND PEOPLE SLEEPING TOGETHER??? ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING??"

"Uh…" Yuffie took a step back. "No, actually."

Irvine and Zidane joined Squall and Seifer in their little pouting corner.

"Well, I don't think that they're playing anymore, so…" Yuffie decided who was next. "Raine, go ahead."

"Okay. Cloud, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to . . ." Raine thought a minute. "Pop one of the left over balloons on your head!"

"Ha!" Cloud pointed at Raine triumphanty. "We HAVE no more barf balloons!"

Over in the corner, Irvine got punched by Squall and another balloon was made. "here you go!" He Squall tossed it to Raine, who splashed it over Cloud's head.

"Okay, Cloud, You're turn." Raine said, laughing.

"Damn it all!" Cloud thought a minute. "Seifer! Truth or dare??"

"…Truth…" Seifer replied sulkily.

"Okay, I may be going way out on a limb here, but, Are you wearing a tampon?"

EVERYONE: 0.0

Seifer was silent. "…Maybe…"

"OH MY GOD!" Yuffie jumped up, clapping her hands together. "I knew it! Seifer, you're so sweet! Trying to be more of a woman for your one true love . . . Squall!"

"SHUT UP! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!" Seifer roared.

"Hey, Seifer," Squall had a thought. "Does that have anything to do with your 'Romantic dream'?"

"…"

"Okay, Seifer," Selphie asked. "Did you have a sex-change or something?"

"…"

"Oh my God he did!"

"Okay, so shut up!" Seifer said. "Hey, Unicorn without the orn! Truth or dare?"

"Truth!" Cloud shouted back. "Why don't we all go back inside? This wind is really picking up!"

So they all ran back inside and Seifer said, "Cloud, what kind of underwear, ARE YOU WEARING?"

"…a…thong…" Cloud said quietly.

"Is this place full of gays or what??" Rinoa cried. "Next thing you know, Vincent is gonna say he's pregnant!"

They all watched as a Vincent with a rather large stomach walked by. "Oh my god…" Yuffie said. "Cid got Valentine PREGNANT!"

"What?" Cid looked up from the model airship he was working on. "Who did I get pregnant?…I sure don't remember anything."

"Okay, let's knock this off." Zell said. "I'm starting to get uncomfortable."

"Shut up chickenwuss." Seifer growled.

"You shut up, gayrod."

"Well," Yuffie said. "That's all for now. Why don't we all head to bed? I think a few hours of rest will be welcome!"

So they all headed off to bed.

Everyone else mad sure that Irvine/Zidane and Squall/Seifer all got the bigger beds.

-0-

Dopey: Okay, here's the deals:

1: because I want reviews, you have to review or I won't update.

2: Do you think this was a bad chapter? I don't really think it was one of my bests…

3: Should the next chapter be karoake or however you spell it? If you think so, give me some song ideas.


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